Short synopsis of the last three months: Me= job is going awesome, in the best shape of my life, sleeping well, mentally balanced. Dan= business picking up, enjoying being stay at home Dad a couple of days a week. Aidan= perfect transition into a new school, rockin' out on guitar, making new friends. Rowan = ups and downs but forward progress, still enjoying Lynnie's and speech at SRC, currently downstairs with a friend who is over for a playdate and they are loudly discussing farts. So, in other words, Life is Good.
Rowan went through a pretty rough summer, followed by what felt like a week of relief, followed by another downswing. Every time this happens, the longer it lasts, the darker things feel. There are periods where I feel like we all go to that dark place: Dan and I are short with each other, my patience is limited, I feel like Aidan isn't getting what he needs from us, and it feels like living with an overly sensitive grizzly bear. The light at the end of the tunnel is that we know it's usually a sign that he is working through something. Whether it is regulating his hearing sensitivity, using words, asking questions, answering questions...it is like the sun shining extra brightly when he finally works his way through the latest neurological battle. My friend, Erin put it really well: he's downloading.
This last week, the darkness has lifted and the sun is indeed shining brightly again it seems. The thing I've noticed this time is that Rowan has been craving my attention. The last few months, he has been working at getting my attention in awful ways: screaming, causing trouble on purpose, pushing buttons, making noises, saying inappropriate things. No matter what consequence we threw at him, he was relentless. It was draining. This week, however, something shifted. He is still craving my attention, but in such an APPROPRIATE way. I think I have heard, "Mamma, look at me" 1,289,752 times in the last three days, 1,278,997 of those today while Christmas shopping. And with it, these really deep five year old questions. And I mean, enough of them to make up for about a year's worth of lost time. "What does a sigh mean?" "Do skeletons live inside your body? Can they live outside your body?" "Does God live at church?" "Why? Why? Why?" And today, in the bookstore/toystore, as I got called over to look at him or something he wanted me to see that million and a quarter times, I got a raised eyebrow from the clerk. I wanted to run over, shake her by the shoulders and yell, "I KNOW!! Isn't he GREAT??? LISTEN to that BEAUTIFUL sound of actual, real, appropriate attention getting measures being used by my son. Don't you LOVE IT????!!!!!" Then I would dance a polka. I restrained myself though, and gave her a big smile and gave in to the requests of my amazing, beautiful, smart and inquisitive son.
