The Underwear Incident

Last weekend, we took our annual trip to Ely to visit some friends, stay in a "gotel," and go swimming.

Saturday morning, we proceeded to start the usual routine of repacking things as Rowan unpacks them, scrambling to find everything and then realizing the Kids are Hungry Again right before we walk out the door.  Among the chaos of the morning, I remembered that Aidan is still in the middle of his anti-hygiene phase, particularly when it comes to his underwear.  Asking him to change it is like asking him to do some impossible, horrible task.  Many times he has lied when I've asked him "Did you change your underwear?" so now I do a check.  I make him pull the waistband of his pants down, note the color, send him upstairs, and note the color again when he comes back down.  Oh, the strange things we do as parents...  Anyway, I did the usual waistband check, he passed, and I sent him on his way.

We did finally make it to Ely, and excitement exploded as we reached the hotel room.  The Jump from Bed to Bed game commenced.  I announced, "Who wants to go swimming???" and suddenly there was more excitement. It was like two small tornadoes spinning around the room with clothes flying out of them as they rushed to get into their swimsuits.  I followed the tornadoes, picking up the debris, but something strange struck me as I picked up Aidan's pants and underwear, which had come off in one piece.  I realized that my son had not been wearing one, but TWO pairs of underwear.  He was too lazy to change them, so knowing he needed to pass the waistband check, he simply put the new pair over the old pair.  


My children: smart, funny, independent, creative.  You just can't make this stuff up, can you?

Blunder at the Lord's Table

Happy Easter!

I hope your day was inspiring, filled with loved ones and good reflection.  I also hope you didn't have to spend any of it hiding in a corner of your brother's church basement, wanting to die from embarrassment.  I did.

First let's preface this with two funny Rowan "overheards."

Rowan and I were staying with my brother Jeff's family, and attending church with them. (Dan and Aidan are on a road trip.)   One very moving component of the service was that there was a largish cross passed through the congregation.  Rowan was transfixed, and asking a million questions.  "What is it?"  "A cross?"  "What are they doing?"  "Passing it around."  "What letter is it?"

The next funny thing to happen was that Rowan leaned forward, and, inches away from a strange woman's face sitting the row in front of him, blew a large raspberry.  My mom, who was sitting with him, pulled him back and apologized to the poor woman.  Rowan, defensive, loudly exclaimed, "But I was trying to get the boogies out of my nose!!!"  Seconds later, "Oooh, I got one!"  The best part was looking down the row and seeing all the shoulders shaking with laughter. (Mostly my family, but I noticed the woman was laughing too.)

I can't even believe that I am writing about this, I am so embarrassed, but the way my husband laughed when I told him this story tells me it will entertain you.

I panicked when, halfway through the service, I realized they were serving communion.  It was the go-to-the-front-of-the-church kind, which we don't usually do at our church (or maybe we do, we rarely go anymore...read above for explanation.)  As we stood up to go, I went over and over in my mind how I was going to prepare Rowan, tell him what to do, not take too much, etc.  Also, I have been sleep deprived, nursing the last dregs of a bad cold, so in my defense not thinking clearly.  We got up to the front, I got my bread and shoved it in my mouth so I could focus on Rowan.  He sweetly put out his little cupped hands to receive the bread.  We got to the wine, I absentmindedly grabbed the cup out of the pastor's hand and took a sip as a little voice in my brain screamed, "What are you doing?  Intinction! you're supposed to dip your bread in!  Oh my God (sorry) now my cold germs are all over that cup, the pastor is looking at me like I am crazy, please can I shrivel up and die now?"  As my horror washed over me, Rowan grabbed the grape juice cup which the pastor had held out, and followed my lead, except he took several great swigs and then refused to relinquish the cup.  A short tugging match, and we booked it down to the basement where I hid, until Rowan would no longer let me.

I am glad my God is a forgiving God.  I hope the good folks at Grace Lutheran are too.

Overheard #6

Me: You did such a great job sitting at the dinner table last night!

Rowan: Did we get to have poxicles (Popsicles) after dinner?

Me: We sure did, lucky guy.

Rowan: Was it cold? *shivers, remembering*

Me: Yes, they were cold.

Rowan: We should call them poxicolds.