Blunder at the Lord's Table

Happy Easter!

I hope your day was inspiring, filled with loved ones and good reflection.  I also hope you didn't have to spend any of it hiding in a corner of your brother's church basement, wanting to die from embarrassment.  I did.

First let's preface this with two funny Rowan "overheards."

Rowan and I were staying with my brother Jeff's family, and attending church with them. (Dan and Aidan are on a road trip.)   One very moving component of the service was that there was a largish cross passed through the congregation.  Rowan was transfixed, and asking a million questions.  "What is it?"  "A cross?"  "What are they doing?"  "Passing it around."  "What letter is it?"

The next funny thing to happen was that Rowan leaned forward, and, inches away from a strange woman's face sitting the row in front of him, blew a large raspberry.  My mom, who was sitting with him, pulled him back and apologized to the poor woman.  Rowan, defensive, loudly exclaimed, "But I was trying to get the boogies out of my nose!!!"  Seconds later, "Oooh, I got one!"  The best part was looking down the row and seeing all the shoulders shaking with laughter. (Mostly my family, but I noticed the woman was laughing too.)

I can't even believe that I am writing about this, I am so embarrassed, but the way my husband laughed when I told him this story tells me it will entertain you.

I panicked when, halfway through the service, I realized they were serving communion.  It was the go-to-the-front-of-the-church kind, which we don't usually do at our church (or maybe we do, we rarely go anymore...read above for explanation.)  As we stood up to go, I went over and over in my mind how I was going to prepare Rowan, tell him what to do, not take too much, etc.  Also, I have been sleep deprived, nursing the last dregs of a bad cold, so in my defense not thinking clearly.  We got up to the front, I got my bread and shoved it in my mouth so I could focus on Rowan.  He sweetly put out his little cupped hands to receive the bread.  We got to the wine, I absentmindedly grabbed the cup out of the pastor's hand and took a sip as a little voice in my brain screamed, "What are you doing?  Intinction! you're supposed to dip your bread in!  Oh my God (sorry) now my cold germs are all over that cup, the pastor is looking at me like I am crazy, please can I shrivel up and die now?"  As my horror washed over me, Rowan grabbed the grape juice cup which the pastor had held out, and followed my lead, except he took several great swigs and then refused to relinquish the cup.  A short tugging match, and we booked it down to the basement where I hid, until Rowan would no longer let me.

I am glad my God is a forgiving God.  I hope the good folks at Grace Lutheran are too.

Overheard #6

Me: You did such a great job sitting at the dinner table last night!

Rowan: Did we get to have poxicles (Popsicles) after dinner?

Me: We sure did, lucky guy.

Rowan: Was it cold? *shivers, remembering*

Me: Yes, they were cold.

Rowan: We should call them poxicolds.

Teaching Your Child the Fine Art of Poetry

Aidan recently asked me if I know how to write poems. I dabbled in it a bit in high school/early college, but it never was my thing. I do remember writing Haikus and enjoying that. I explained the whole 5,7,5 syllable thing to him, and we came up with a few simple ones. Tonight, we wrote two masterpieces:

A leprechaun came.
He peed green in our potty.
It smelled like shamrocks.

I have underwear.
I wear it under my pants.
It is not a hat.

Overheard #5

Aidan:  "Ahhh....PERFECT:  A sucker, a guitar, and a comfy chair!"

Overheard #4

Rowan:  Are we going to Nonnie's?

Me: At the end of the week.  In four sleeps.

Rowan: (Goes over to couch and closes eyes,) I'm sleeping!

Overheard #3

Rowan, standing outside the bathroom:(Gasp!) Lookitdat! It's bee-yooo-tee-ful!!!

Me, walking to where he is: (thinking what? Something shiny? A butterfly? A picture?) What? What is beautiful?

Rowan: That! It's SO BEAUTIFUL!! (points at package of generic toilet paper.)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess.

Culinary Delights

Scene: Bedtime, rocking chair

Me: I Love you soooo much, I could eat you!  Can I eat you?
Rowan: (giggle) No!
M: I want to make a Rowie hair salad.
R: (giggle) No!
M: Cheesy Rowie earlobes.
R: (giggle)
M: A Rowie toe sandwich!
R: (giggle giggle)
M: Noodles and Rowie bellybuttons!
R: (giggle giggle laugh) No!
M: Rowie nose soup!
R: (giggle)

Quiet, rocking for a while.

Rowan: BUTT CAKE!!!!!!!
Me: (can't help myself) (giggle)
R: BUTT CAKE!  BUTT CAKE! BUTT CAKE! (giggle giggle laugh laugh laugh)

Refer to the giggle video below to see how the rest of bedtime went.  He's up there now, still giggling.

I Never Thought I Would.....

....have to apologize to the daycare provider because my child is pretending to pee on other children.

....see the fact that my child is pretending to pee on other children as a good sign and progress because he is acting like a normal little boy.

....look in the backseat to find my 7 year old with his shirt off in March.  Explanation:  Easier to make armpit farts.

....have my child walk in on me while I was going to the bathroom and remind me "tuck in your wiener."

...be scolded at the table by both my children for potty talk. (All these boys are a BAD influence.)

My Dog Has SPD Too!

And how do I know this?

Well, yesterday, Rowan and I were making train tracks, etc. on the sidewalk and doing various springtime play activities such as Jump in the Puddle, Stick Your Train in the Mud and Try Riding Your Trike.  At one point, he looked dangerously close to thinking about going into street, so I whipped out a social story in chalk on the sidewalk.  Then I made one about mittens in mud.  A few minutes later,  I see Rowan talking to the dog and feverishly drawing (scribbling) in front of him.  The dog had kept wandering into the backyard and eating compost, so several times he'd been told not to go in the backyard.  As Rowan was drawing, I overheard him say, "Murphy, you cannot go into the backyard (scribble, scribble), that will make Mommy sad!  (scribble scribble) Murphy can stay in the front yard (scribble scribble), that will make Mommy and Murphy happy!"  Geez, he was making a SOCIAL STORY for the DOG.  I almost peed my pants.  I just focused on the cuteness of it, but today at OT it was brought to my attention that it was a HUGE step for him:  it means he is making the connections he needs to make.  Hooray!

The dog, by the way, complied.

Overheard #2, parts a.) and b.)

Part a.) - Breakfast for Dinner

Family: God is Great, God is Good, Let us thank Him for our food.  Amen
Dan: I am thankful that Lindi, Azalea and baby Ave came over to play with us today.
Aidan: I am thankful for the whole fun day!
Me: I am thankful for chocolate chip pancakes and my guitar spatula. (Aidan and I were listening to Led Zeppelin, Houses of the Holy, while making pancakes.  And yes, I have a guitar shaped spatula.  Today was the first day I realized its full potential.  Who needs Guitar Hero?)
Dan: Rowan, what are you thankful for?
Rowan: I WANT MORE BACON!
Dan: Please?
Rowan: More bacon, please?
(Dan gives him bacon.)
Me: Rowan, what are you thankful for?
Rowan: Bacon.

Part b.) - Aidan is helpful

Me: Aidan, how does it feel that you were so helpful tonight?
Aidan: Hmm.....proud.
M: I just want to tell you, that no matter what, I love you.  But when you are so extra helpful to me like you were tonight, it makes my heart feel so warm and happy and full of love for you.  You really helped me today, and made my day so much easier.
A: (pauses....) My throat feels like it's going to cry.

Overheard #1

Rowan: You love horses.

Me: No, not really.

R: Yes, you do.

M: No, really I don't. I love bunnies though.

R: Nee Nee loves horses.

M: Sure.  Sounds good.

R: Daddy loves deers.

M: Yes, he does. (Shooting and eating them, I think.)

R: I love turtles.

M: You  do?

R: YESSSSSSS!

M: Would you like to have a pet turtle someday?

R: YESSSSSSS!

M: What would you name your turtle, if you had one?

R: (pause) (I am wondering if he understood the question.) Mister WATERMELON!