Three Sides of the Same Coin

It's glaringly obvious to me lately that Rowan has three different personalities.  Just like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but including Mr. Hyde's sad cousin.  I don't know if this is normal for SPD kids, but I do know that with the changes starting to happen in this house as fall schedules approach, it's like spinning a roulette wheel several times a day, waiting to see what you'll get with each change or transition.

Will it be Rowan Number One?  This is the cute, happy, giggly, smiley dude that makes the old ladies in the grocery store melt.  This Rowan gives out copious amounts of hugs, loves to help, listens, chatters incessantly and pretty much all around makes my heart melt.  He appears to be a normal, well-adjusted four year old.  This Rowan, fortunately, seems to be the one he's bringing to preschool most days.  I am thankful for that.  I do wish he'd hang out here more often though.  I hate to pick favorites among my son's split personalities, but I have to admit, this one is my favorite.

Oh, wait, it looks like Rowan Number Two.  This one, I have the most sympathy for.  This little guy appears when there is something scary, especially a loud noise.  He does not like changes in plans or schedules.  He is generally very, very sad or so upset he's been known to scream until the capillaries break on his cheeks.  I can see the loss of control and the flailing to get it back.  This Rowan makes me feel sad and helpless.  Fortunately, as Rowan becomes so very verbal, we see this guy less.

Or...is it the Dreaded Rowan Number Three?  Also known as Naughty Rowan or Rowan in Monkey Mode.  This one can unfold three loads of laundry in 30 seconds, thinks pulling on the dog's ear until he yelps is SUPER hilarious, and will squirt a bottle of lotion on the floor to skate in.  This Rowan will NOT be redirected (he doesn't even like social stories), will laugh when you scold him and runs away when he knows he's being naughty.  He generally makes my blood boil and makes me look like a Bad Parent in public.  He has been showing up around here a lot lately and he is NOT welcome.

Who am I kidding?  They are all part of the child I love, and need to be accepted.  I know who they are in OT language and what it means in the book:  Number One is what we strive for, Number Two is sensory avoiding, and Number Three is sensory seeking.  Easy to read about and understand in a book, but hard to live with.

As I anticipate changes ahead in the next month, I also full on expect this to become harder for a while.  And then, it will level off again as we navigate the ups and downs of living with SPD.  I always used to tell myself that the traits you want in an adult are really hard to have in a young child:  curiosity, passion, determination, the ability to take risks and test boundaries.  Then add in the fact that Rowan is so sensitive, and, according to his ECFE teacher a couple of years ago, "feels feelings bigger than most people."  I believe these traits WILL serve him well as an adult - the world is in need of more sensitive souls who can see the world in a different way.

My little package of personalities is a gift, as hard as it is to live with parts of it.  I continue to focus on the lessons I can learn during the tough times, celebrate the huge gains we've made, and grab the hugs when they are being doled out.

An example of Naughty Rowan, caught green-handed.

Overheard #5

Aidan:  "Ahhh....PERFECT:  A sucker, a guitar, and a comfy chair!"

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

*sigh*

I guess, for me, it's technically over.  I mean, we still have a couple days together, including the State Fair, but my brain has switched over.  I am in School Mode, like it or not.  From here on out, it will occupy my mind and being until June 8, 2012.

I look back on this summer as the Summer of Expecting the Unexpected.  A rainy June, a "part time" job that tied me down more than it was supposed to, a summer of scrambling for caregivers and juggling schedules, a rough start for Rowan.  It's easy to feel just an *eensy* bit disappointed in the Summer of 2011.  But then I think back to what I really did.

This summer I:

• Watched my toddler turn into a Little Boy.
• Watched as my Little Boy turned into a Big Boy.
• Smiled at LOTS of tourists (mostly unwillingly)
• Appreciated the stars.
• Was entertained by backyard musicians under the age of 8.
• Made lots of chalk pictures on the sidewalk.
• Took the training wheels off.
• Picked my share of berries.
• Drank my share of wine and beer with good friends.
• Ate a genuine Kazakhstan cuisine.
• Kept the garden weeded.
• Secretly muttered a prayer of thanks to the summer wind every time I smelled or felt it.
• Threw one kickass four year old birthday party.
• Rose to the occasion with social stories, positive redirection and creative parenting.
• Learned from the times that I didn't rise to the occasion.
• Got my share of giggles and butt-slaps from my cafe coworkers.
• Maintained and grew friendships from the last 2 years.
• Read a bunch of great books.
• Convened with bodies of water.
• Chillaxed on a pontoon.
• Ate at least a dozen s'mores.
• Shampooed a dog.
• Sewed up a storm.
• Followed my heart.

Onward we go, into a new season and a new start in many ways for the whole family.  I start a new job, Dan will self-employed in a month, Rowan will be at a new preschool.  It seems the only thing we can depend on is change, isn't it?  I can't help but feel a little bit like hiding somewhere, while simultaneously motioning that "come here" sign with my fingers while yelling "BRING IT!" to the Universe.

Here is to confidence, balance, and reflection on a Summer well spent.

Overheard #4

Rowan:  Are we going to Nonnie's?

Me: At the end of the week.  In four sleeps.

Rowan: (Goes over to couch and closes eyes,) I'm sleeping!

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Rowan has definitely gone through a shift recently.  Perhaps it was the camping trip, perhaps it is settling into summer, I am not sure.  But another layer seems to have been peeled away.  Here are some things I've noticed:

He suddenly has been very aware of the presence of the "big kids" in the yard, and going out of his way to try to be included.  He has been following them around, chasing them and copying their play.  On that same note, we were at Aidan's soccer practice and Rowan really had to pee.  He insisted on peeing on a tree.  With no porta potties in sight, I brought him near this tree where the kids like to climb, out of sight.  He started to go (splashing my shoe...thanks, little guy) and we heard kids coming.  I told him to hurry up so the kids didn't see.  They showed up as he was finishing.  He looked at them, and in a very apologetic tone said, "Sorry, guys, I just had to pee on a tree. Sorry."  It was so cute.

His own play is so imaginative.  Today he and I were at the park and we drove a car to the digger dirt place, then had to go across the bridge to get to the dirt, then we had to pretend we were diggers and move the dirt into the dump truck.  Then we found a puddle and pretended we saw all kinds of frogs in it and were discussing what they looked like.  It was all led by him and his little imagination.

His language is awesome!  So much expression, intonation, describing words and NONSTOP chatter.  And cute chatter.  He is so dramatic about everything.  Everything is *gasp* "Look at that orange garbage truck."  or *gasp* "It's a butterfly!"  This funny little gasp precedes everything he says.

But the cherry on top of this big sundae was the experience I had outside with him drawing with chalk.  His fine motor skills have always been a bit behind, plus his patience to work on it is nil.  Not to mention, since he's been a baby he's always had a very low frustration level.  I distinctly remember as a six month old, a toy wasn't working the way he wanted and he would scream and throw it.  Up until recently, this is pretty much the way it would go if something frustrated him...screaming or tears.

So, back to the chalk.  I drew a circle and he filled it in with eyes, nose and a mouth.  Then I showed him how to put on a body, arms, and legs.  I drew another circle and he drew the body.  I then encouraged him to draw a circle.  "I can't do it," he said.  "Try!" I encouraged.  He drew one.  Then he drew another.  Then another.  "Bah!" he said in frustration, and drew another.  I realized he was drawing them, but didn't like the way they looked, but he kept trying! "Bah!" he growled again after another.  Then he drew one more, apparently satisfied, drew in the face and body.  This was a BIG DEAL for this mom to see her little boy have patience and persevere through the frustration! I hope this a start of a new trend.

The circles he tried to make...

One all on his own!

We also worked on some letters.

Taking a break to play Road Runner.

Into The Woods - Trip Log

Day 1

Mission: to safely arrive in the Porcupine Mountains, set up camp

Wet/dirty clothes count: 1 pair underwear/shorts lost to a wet slide at the rest stop, 2 pair underwear/shorts lost to slipping and falling on slippery rocks into Lake Superior

Critters Encountered:  Beety the bug, Lake the dragonfly

Ups of the day: mostly good behavior in the car, Rowan imitating a dragonfly, fascinating geology, including what looked like petrified sand,  Rowan immediately dropping his pants to swim as we arrive at the lake, realizing that seeing Lake Superior from a different place is like seeing a new aspect of an old friend.

Downs of the day: Both kids slipping and falling into the lake, a disastrous Rowan bedtime, a not so private campground, the bathroom incident in Ironwood. (Bearing a strong reesemblance to the Hackensack Bathroom Incident.)

Beach at Union Bay Campground

Day 2

Mission: To explore the Porcupine Mountains.

Wet/dirty clothes count: 1 shirt/pair shorts lost to spaghetti sauce.

Critters encountered:  Chipper the chipmunk, Catherine the caterpillar, Beauford the blue dragonfly, Judu the beetle, Squiggly the millipede, Charlie the ant

Ups of the day: Lake of the Clouds overlook, sun, sand and surf, a better campsite, staring into water and fire, silent reverence for stars, Aidan singing "ding dong the witch is dead"on our hike but changing the first letter of every word to a "b."

Downs of the day: waking up after very little sleep.

Lake of the Clouds Overlook

Day 3 (Mushroom and tiny critters day)

Mission: To get out on some hikes

Wet/dirty clothes count: 0

Critters encountered: Fearless Freddy the orange spider, Tiny McCuterson the inchworm, Daddapillar the caterpillar, Mr. Squiggly Smalls the inchworm, Nick the impossibly small micro frog.

Ups of the day: reverence for cathedral trees, Rowan is brave climbing the lookout tower, mushrooms galore and Aidan decides to become a mushroom hunter, amazing views, bats, taking showers, the most amazing thhunderstorm that rolled and rolled with echoes across the mountains.

Downs of the day: mosquitoes, the thunderstorm was lovely, but nerve racking.

Old growth hemlock forest

Summit Peak Overlook

Nick, the micro-frog

Day 4

Mission: To get to Pictured Rocks, find Carrie and Corryn

Dirty/wet clothes count: numerous wet things from packing up in the rain

Critters encountered: Stick, the caterpillar

Ups of the day: getting the last campsite...and a good one, good behavior in the car, wild blueberry treasure, Miners Beach, Miners Castle, the Pictured Rocks, seeing a restaurant called Beef-a-Roo.

Downs of the day: driving forever to find an open campsite, lack of sleep due to thunderstorm, packing up in the rain, not finding our friends, making the mistake of watching Road Runner in the car and then taking our highly imitative child to an area with cliffs where he wanted to play "Road Runner."

Miners Castle

Sand fun at Miners Beach

Stick, the Caterpillar

Day 5

Mission: really find our friends, have more fun exploring

Dirty/wet clothes count: 2 outfits from two boys who wanted to "wade" in Kingston Lake

Critters encountered: Squiggles the Caterpillar, and Murphy, our dog, reunited with his family

Ups of the day: finding Carrie and Corryn, WILD waves at the beach, more blueberries, Miners falls, campfire

Downs of the day: none

"Hey, I'M FOUR!"

Murphy dodging a wild wave

Corryn, Carrie and Murphy

Miners Falls

Day 6

Mission: to move to the same campground as Corryn and Carrie, to be in the water

Wet/dirty clothes count: in swimsuits most of the day, 1 pair of pajamas peed in

Critters encountered: 215,786 black flies, deer flies and horse flies, most named "dammit" "son of a bitch" and "f***"

Ups of the day: Possibly the best campsite at Twelve Mile Beach, clear, Caribbean blue water at the beach, white sand, art gallery rocks, Lake Superior sunset, Inukshuk,  fun and frivolity with friends, the STARS, midnight skinny dip

Downs of the day:  see critters encountered

Jiffy Pop over the fire

Aidan's Inukshuk

Sunset

Day 7

Mission: Head East and explore new parts of the park

Wet/dirty clothes count: not sure, but Rowan is out of socks

Critters encountered: a leech stuck to Rowan's foot, named "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"

Ups of the day: Discovering dunes and rolling down them, waterfalls, finding fungus amongus with our mushroom book, lazy afternoon at Grand Marais beach, ice cream cones, warm river water at Sable Falls

Downs of the day: Corryn and Carrie went home, Murphy was terrorized by flies all day, kids overtired from fun, sunburned lips, the fact that I will be finding sand in my washing machine for months...possibly years to come.

Positively identified as "Artist's Bracket"

Day 8

Mission: To go home and take the 6 1/2 hour drive easy and relaxed and open minded

Wet/dirty clothes count: none

Critters encountered: none

Ups of the day:  lunch at Beef-a-Roo (come on, we HAD to), the cute park in Michigamee, good boys in the car, getting home at a reasonable hour in time for baths.

Downs of the day: vacation over :(

Overall, it was an awesome trip.  The boys were BORN to camp, and we came back so rested and relaxed with lots of great memories, sand, a little bit of sunburn, and a mushroom book.