Judgement Day

Well, today was the big day. The day where you go into the room with all the special education people and you sit around a table and they tell you, area by area, all the things that are wrong with your kid.

I tried to have no expectations for this meeting. I didn't know how to. I know Rowan didn't want to perform for the test-givers, so in that respect my expectation was low. But then I know he has been talking my ear off at home, making friends, showing great imagination. So on that end of it, my expectation was high.

Paragraph by paragraph I listen to people tell me their expert opinion on who my child is. These folks have spent 2 hours or less with Rowan, and here sits his future on that short amount of time. I hear things like wouldn't participate, hiding under table, good sense of humor, copied block pattern, counted to twelve, not independent on self help tasks, wouldn't say his name, above average gross motor skills, no hand preference, language in average range.....it went on and on. I kept hearing the words "average range" more than I thought I would. Despite my qualms about how some of the assessments were done, they seemed pretty spot on.  What it really came down to was the last page (which I should have known enough to skip to at the beginning of the meeting,) on which the box was checked: does not qualify for special education services at this time.  I was shocked.  Okay....good news, but now what?  Who is going to help us?  Where will we get strategies?  This whole SPD thing, no one seems to know about it, no one seems to have had it, no one seems to be able to give us TOOLS to deal with it.  I guess I'm glad my kid is not tied down to an IEP, but where's the help, man?

That supposed superhero is flying in to our house on Friday.  Once again, the amazing and wonderful Scottish Rite Clinic is coming through for us.  They are sending a behavioral specialist to our house on Friday, on their dime.  She has a good reputation, coincidentally goes to our church, and has worked with students at the school I go to.  We had a fantastic conversation on the phone today.  How does one even begin to express gratitude for such a thing?

So, one door closes, another opens, I guess.  I look forward to Friday.

Tonight, by the way, was the best night Rowan has had in months.  No tantrums or meltdowns.  No violent outbursts.  Just a chatty, cute, happy goofball.  He is currently running around naked, chattering constantly about his friends, toys...a constant stream of excited descriptions.  Maybe he, we all, just needed someone to tell us he might be destined for average, after all.  I never thought I'd like to  hear that word in describing my child.  (Aren't we all shooting for above average?)  But I'll take it.