5:30 Dish up tacos. Kids are playing quietly and nicely in other room (or so you think).
5:31 Your firstborn comes running into the room. "Mom! Come quick!!" You sprint into the living room to find your second born has dumped an entire shaker of salt on the couch. First and second born commence eating the salt. You run for the vacuum. At this point, you are still laughing, dinner may still be hot.
5:32 After vacuuming for a few seconds, you realize your second born is missing (understandably, because he is terrified of the vacuum). You hand off vacuum to your firstborn and run upstairs. Dinner now warm. You are still slightly giggling, but concerned.
5:33 Walk into your bedroom to find second born has opened the jar of your expensive face cream (this happened once before around Christmas...WHY didn't I put it out of reach?!!) About 1/4 is left in the jar, the rest is on the floor or on the child's arms/hands. Now anger has set in. Dinner is colder yet.
5:34 Bathroom. Washing slippery mess off child, who is screaming. Scold and say cross words. Leave child with towel to dry hands. Go clean up floor. Dinner?
5:35 Hear something hitting floor. Go into firstborn's bedroom to find that second born has opened two dresser drawers and has emptied both. He is now flinging the contents across the room, most likely because you scolded him. Hear actual expletives come out of your mouth directed at child. Child yells "Don't yell!!" (Hey...he used his words!) Dinner, what dinner? Dog probably stole it off the counter by now.
5:36 Take calming breaths. Remind yourself of the silver lining: the vacuum is still on, so at least the firstborn didn't hear the swear words! Pray that the second born doesn't repeat them in public or at a family gathering. Remember about dinner.
5:37 Commence downstairs. Turn off and put away vacuum. Convince second born that vacuum is done. Pull self together.
5:38 Cold tacos. BIG glass of wine.
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